Well here we are … December 2014! In fact we are 16 days into December and as yet, I have not posted Zenith’s word for December and that is partly due to the word itself!
December’s word for Zenith is Present! Not the noun present, as in gift (although it works for December) but as the adjective form of the word … being PRESENT!
In early December 2013 our oldest partially shaved off her eyebrows, in an attempt to “fit in” with the kids at school and in remediation to something one of the kids meanly said to her … reverberating, unchallenged in her 13 year old mind. But wait … it gets worse, Bad Mother of the Year Award 2013 goes to me, because for a whole 36 hours I did not even notice.
I was completely consumed by getting to the end of my working week (and year), when I would be on leave, that everything else was, dare I say it (out loud), on the back-burner. I even told my children (more than once), “let’s just get to the end of the week and then we will be fine and we can enjoy our holidays together”. I shudder when I think about it now.
At the time I was crippled by guilt, that all I could do was cry … that frustrated, shameful cry that we hide from others. Well-meaning friends talked me off the emotional ledge, reminding me that eyebrows grow back (I knew that), pointing out that it was year-end, I was exhausted, I needed my leave, that at the time I was in the midst of an altercation with a friend but all of those were kind excuses … because the event (Eyebrow-Gate 2013 [EBG 2013] as we affectionately refer to it now) haunted me for months … well into 2014. Why was I so upset? Because I did not notice. 36 whole hours passed and I wasn’t present … not even close. So I resolved to use the learnings and make it different this year! So picking this December’s word was a bit of a sacred slam dunk … and so far we are doing really well! I can report that everyone’s eyebrows are indeed intact!
So what have I learned … lets share the learnings … the lessons from EBG 2013 were many and this December has indeed been very different. I have actively slowed down to make sure that I am living in as many moments as possible and when I am not … I take a deep breath (or five) and force myself to do so. Things can wait a moment longer, the universe will not wobble off its axis. I have found meditation particularly helpful for me with this, and I am very pleased that I have increased this practice, this year. Loving it!
EBG 2013 also taught me to listen to the quiet tremors and to close the loop with the child, so that they know that I have taken action. Senior mentioned the comment to me and I down-played it (hoping to minimize its refraction in her mind) but I made the appointment with the beautician and in my pre-occupied, single-mindedness I didn’t close the loop with her, so she took things into her own hands.
I make sure that one of us (the parental units) is with the girls when the other can’t be due to commitments … BEING with them, not just being close to them. Yesterday, said oldest and I had the most wonderful day, out shopping, not particularly spending a huge amount of money (although I think the Bank Manager might disagree) BEING together, seeing, laughing (oh so much laughter), touch and loving every second … being present.
There were other lessons; not being so harsh on myself, releasing the negative emotions around the event and making sure that she knows, deep within, that she is perfect and beautiful … but those are for another blog.
I keep smiling at the awareness of it all … that BEING PRESENT has become the PRESENT that we are giving each other. And my word … but what a gift! #BlessedAbundantly!
As we end-off this year, let’s be present for ourselves and for each other …
Love you all madly! Let’s be PRESENT as we kiss 2014 farewell! MAKE it COUNT!
Collette in Cape Town
Song of the Post … Rather Be by Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne … good to know … (interesting video J)