Sunday, July 19, 2015

Problem or Solution? You Get to Choose!

So here’s the thing … for a long, really long while I have been praying and contemplating change in a few areas of my life, like ripples on a river the Divine delivered a truckload, in fact there could have been three truckloads and you guessed it, they all arrived at the same time.

Overwhelmed and mired down by the logistics and the reality of all of the change, did I mention I asked for it … I got a little tangled up in the scariness of how change presents itself.  And then it started.  The downward spiral into WHAT THE FRIGGY DIGGY WAS I THINKING? (exchange said FRIGGY DIGGY for any expletive of your choosing).  Fear galloped in and I wanted to swim back to the burning boat instead of ahead to the scary locals on the shore.  Weighed down by the change, bad habits became my fall-back friend.  Slowly my frame wilted (and doubled), the spring in my step dragged, my language changed and all of a sudden woe was snippy me.  At the same time, I found myself watching ugly fall-out in a space just off my periphery.  Of course that I could see, clearly … and sadly it was (is) horrible!  Miss-understanding, ego, stubborn, obstinate, error, confusion and what looked like someone stirring the pot, just slightly off to the left.  Of course I was so incredibly busy and my meditations, affirmations and gratitude’s went right out of the window, until I remembered my name again or the dog stopped growling at me.

Then my sister reminded me of the story of the old Indian Chief speaking to his grandchild about the battle between Two Wolves , good and evil.  The grandchild asked his wise Grandfather, which one wins and his Grandfather says to him … the one that you feed.  So true.  It hit me!  And words that I often say to my children, stumbled into my mind … you are either part of the problem or you are part of the solution – you get to choose.  Right in that moment, I chose and I HAD to be part of the solution.

Deepak, bless him, started another 21 day Mediation, refocusing my mind (of course all in perfect Divine Timing).  Meditations commenced, gratitude’s restarted, manifestation resumed, and sure enough … change started to look beautiful again and not quite so overwhelming.

So what have I learned … I learned that God does indeed have a sense of humour, just when I thought I had gotten a handle on a few items, I was reminded of my humility … again.  I was reminded how hard I had worked to not be the control freak because really I am not great when I don’t know what I am doing.  I was presented with an opportunity to learn gracefully … I am not sure I passed that course – but I have no doubt that lesson will come around again.  I hope to handle it better next time …

I was also reminded that it is imperative to be part of the solution and that sometimes that means stepping back, releasing the ego of that moment, and enjoying the small victories. 

This particular bout of change reminded me of my boundaries, how important they are.  We really do teach people how to treat us!

And that I must use my Super-Powers for good, for the solution and for positive change. 

July’s word of the month is Solution
May we have them, may we bring them, may we make them beneficial to all …

Holding out for gorgeous!!!

Much Love Always!
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … In the arms of an angel  Sarah McLachlan

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

3mm Off!

Once upon a time, there was a very wealthy man and he had made his millions, so he decided he would spend the rest of his days mastering the fine art of getting a very small dimpled ball into a really small hole far far away.  He practiced every day, he was dedicated to achieving and succeeding.  He went to golf weekends away where he studied and practiced under masters, he bought the finest golf clubs, he only used the best balls and like many times before, one day he went out with his golf coach.  He checked the wind, he silently adjusted his feel, he held the club correctly, he bent his knees and softened his elbows and then he drew back, a long exacting swing and he struck the ball.  It was a mighty thwack and he stared off into the distance, to realize in horror that he was miles away from the raised flag that signaled his destination.  He clutched his golf club with frustrated rage and struggled not to swing it across the green in utter failure.  He wanted to scream and shout and throw a tantrum, his frustration was so long and so deep.  Quietly and calmly a voice came from behind him and said, you were about 3mm off, let’s try again.  The Millionaire turned to his Golf Coach absolutely aghast and wanted to ask him if he was mentally ill or if he was indeed blind.  “How could you possibly mean that Coach, I was off by a mile!”  The Millionaire started walking back to the golf cart.  The coach looked up at him and said, it is all about perspective.  If you alter your perspective and indeed your swing by just 3 small millimeters then you will land in the hole.  You are aiming for the distance miles away, your swing is too wide.  But if you concentrate on the point of connection with the ball, and adjust that by just 3mm’s, then you will achieve your goal.

I remember hearing that story and as the Motivational Speaker said, you were off by 3mm’s … the whole room opened up to me and I got it.  Sometimes we are so deep and heavy and lost in the storm that we can’t raise our heads to see the bigger picture … then we must go to those people that bless our lives and ask for perspective.  People who help us to see the bigger picture, people whom we trust, people who have our highest good at heart, people who are able to assist us in shifting our perspectives … those people.

At the moment I am in the eye of the storm … so easily I could be swallowed into that hole but this long weekend (in South Africa) has given me time to rest (much much needed rest), re-group, (in the words of the great GPS) re-calculate and re-member what is important to me.  An opportunity to re-turn to source.  Sometimes we are so busy in the do’ing and in the achiev’ing that we lose touch with the be’ing.

So what have I learned … I used to work with a woman, who one day when we were in the thick of activities, she stopped me and said “Collette, enjoy the journey”.  Just that, just those simple words …

I suppose something I am learning, dare I say it, (as I get older) is that LIFE doesn’t have to be hard, yes there are hard moments and difficult things that we have to traverse but in so doing, we MUST enjoy the journey or else what is the point?  I do not, can not and will not believe that the Divine created us for struggle, torment and hardship.

So our challenge this month is two-fold … Our word for June is Perspective.  I challenge each and every one reading this to be someone’s Perspective Coach this month (remember the rules – love, big picture, trust, highest good at heart, a positive shift in perspective) to help one another see the situation differently, positively and to encourage.

And then to Enjoy the Journey, make it fun, make it real and make it manageable to your flow, to your level of busy.  Sometimes there is a need to push through to get to the other side of that goal, that target but we can’t do that all the time … Sometimes we need to be enjoying the journey …

Much Love Always!
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … Life is a Highway! By Rascal Flatts … I do love me a bit of Rascal Flatts!  

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Be In Search Of The Music

I know, I know – sorry it’s been a wonderful (read crazy … but in the very best possible way) couple of months, since last I posted … my apologies, but it has been abundantly busy.  I have loved the jolt of energy that has spilled over into everything.  I have thought of you often (guiltily and lovingly) but my “next post” has been sparring with me and that particular post won’t be set free just yet because it was supposed to be all about Adventure and Abundance and the whoowhwoooo’ness of Change … BUT we aren’t going there just yet … watch this space …

I don’t know about you but my life is too obligated to keep up with TV, not to mention the guilt you have heaped on about how bad television is for young children – so our TV doesn’t go on until much later in the evenings and that is normally my Q to hit the hay.  Somewhere in season 2 I lost touch with Khaleesi and her winged friends, much to many folks horror, I have never watched a single episode of Suits and I won’t even consider The Walking Dead, but now thank heavens technology has come to my rescue (again) with PVR, TEVO and the ability to download. 

Quite by accident, recently I started watching Mozart in the Jungle.  I loved it - Instantly!  It’s a distressingly short program running only +- 30 minutes instead of the usual 45, but I absolutely LOVE it!  It is set in New York (always a winner) and the lead character is Rodrigo De Souza, the new Maestro of the New York Philharmonic.    I love the passion, the music, the delicious “behind the scenes” view of music in the making, I love the lead with his genius hair and his Latino accent.  Recently we watched him salsa with his people … man alive, can that man salsa!

Last week (S1/Ep4) we watched Rodrigo viewing ancient text scribbled by arguably the ultimate Maestro, Mozart.  As he sat, wearing white gloves to protect the paper, viewed through a glass box, he could hear the music in his head from the sheet music.  He was in awe.  He was completely taken up by the genius on the paper, that it came alive for him, he could hear it.  Suddenly Mozart himself stood next to him, berating Rodrigo for even looking at his text, while he continued to “play it safe”.  I can’t remember the exact dialogue but Mozart NAILED him (verbally of course) reminding him that greatness has never been achieved by playing it safe!


Instantly the “sparring blog” was shelved and I knew this had to be the next one … let’s be in search of the music!  Where are we playing it safe?  Are we even searching for the music?  Are we in pursuit or are we playing it safe?  Where am I playing it safe?  Am I seeing the music in every moment?  Rodrigo was, he was creating the music, if not with his hands conducting or playing an instrument, then in his mind.  He could hear the music in the traffic, in crossing a bridge, in walking along the sidewalk! 

Am I seeing the beauty in every moment or am I tainting it, by it not being quite perfect enough?  Am I hearing that child laughing, or am I annoyed by the noise?  Is my red wine glass half empty or am a savouring a beautiful Merlot with wonderful people?

So now how do I encapsulate that in one word for MayRecognize!  Let’s Recognize the beauty, let’s hear the music and if you can’t hear the music or aren’t able to just yet, then let’s go in search of it!  Let’s see that spectacular sunset, let’s watch those pigeons on the wall, sunning themselves to warm up in the nippy autumn crisp.

So what have I learned … In a moment of my life, when I stand on the precipice of change, I am daunted!  Very daunted!  A million questions and concerns run through my mind … but I truly believe that in life we only regret what we do not do, not what we do and we learn from.  What will I learn and where will it take me?

So what are we waiting for?  Are we in search of that music that makes our soul sing or are we comfortable with coasting?  There is no right or wrong, sometimes we need the world to chill and just for a moment to catch our breath but that doesn’t mean that in the silence and stillness, we still can’t be in search of the beauty in the music.

My challenge to you this month of May is to be in search, to Recognize the music, to see those beautiful moments and to love greatly every moment …

I would love to hear how and when you are hearing the music … Be In Search!

Much Love Always!
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … Love Me Like You Do! by Ellie Goulding

Sunday, February 8, 2015

The Pen is Mightier and All That …

Well shine a light!  January 2015 is already a memory and February holds so much promise … how is 2015 treating you?

This post has been flirting with me for a while … so here we go!  Sometime between March 1973 and February 2015 (it might have started before – who knows) … I fell in love!  Undiluted, unadulterated, unapologetic LOVE … with words.  I don’t remember the exact moment, but in the quietest whisper, it became my truth!  There is huge irony here, because spelling and me, we are not friends but I love them all the same (and I am very grateful for modern tools).   I particularly love the interesting ones, but then, I love the simple one’s too.  Just this week, I learned and had cause to use the word CABOTAGE – who knew!

Just before she died, I watched an interview with Maya Angelou.  I loved watching her.  I hung off every word.  I loved her wisdom, her statuesque carriage.  I loved her fine southern Baptist point of view.  I listened and waited on her every pearl.  She spoke with such grace and poise, and purpose of word, that you couldn't help but be arrested by her stories.  In this interview, which was an Oprah's Master Class  … she spoke of many things, but it was the portion on words, that has stayed with me.

Our word for February 2015 is Words!

She said that she thought that words were things … of this she was convinced.  She went on to say that we must be careful of the words we use, or that we allow to be used around us.  She spoke of the power of words and that someday we would be able to measure their power.  She thought that words got into our upholstery, that they stuck to our wallpaper, they got into our clothes and then finally, that they were ingest into our skin.  I had a HUGE moment!  In the words of the beautiful Iyanla Vanzant OH MY GOD!  (and if you knew me, that is not something I say very often).  I loved Maya’s words, I agreed completely, but with one addition … I believe that the power of our words is here already.  And they are mighty!  We can’t reel in that unkind statement made in anger and we can’t silence the mean comment that rattles around in our head on re-play at 3am, which echo’s our deepest, most secret fear.  We can’t say that final farewell because we hesitated and the moment is lost … forever. 

The power of words is here already and it can so be measured, even if it is just in the amount on the therapy bills.

But here is the good news … we can use our powers for good and carefully lace our words with encouragement and growth, and lift and promote with but a word.  The power of our words can be measured in how much we believed in them!  How much we encouraged.  How much we tell them we love them.  How much we step out in faith and connected with another human being.  That is their power!  And that power is placed in yours and my hands every second of every day.

So, this month’s challenge … lets watch those words.  Are we telling those we truly love, how much and as often as possible.  That quiet child, that needs your extra support.  That loud insecure friend, that they are enough.  Are we encouraging our friends and colleagues that are doing those wonderful crazy things like sky-diving, because in life we only regret what we do not do.  Are we stepping out on faith and telling that person that they are special in our lives.  Are we messaging a friend who is going through a tough time, that we are thinking of them!  Are we stepping into a space for someone who has lost someone close.  Are we carefully choosing our words, with someone who needs our boundaries? 

Let’s use those wonderful beautiful words for empowerment this month.  Let’s trend good, positive words.  Let’s annoy with kindness, using words to their maximum effectiveness.

Of course I would love to hear from you … positive stories of how your month of using words, changed not only yours but other people’s lives … in the words of Maya Angelou … Just do right

Much Love Always!
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … Say Something! By A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Here We Go …

I’ve been really scratching my brain, my 3 words have been playing hide & go change with me for the last couple of weeks.  I have wrestled, changed, added, removed and re-added words for weeks now.  How have you been doing with your 3 Words for 2015?   I could have so easily rolled my 2014 words (Writing Abundance Adventure) into 2015.  I would love more and more of those again please … but that would have been completely cheating and I have pressed my friends, family and readers to dig deep and find interesting, exciting words.  So it is time to commit and reveal.

My 3 words for 2015 are Opportunities ♥ Writing ♥ Luminescence! 

I always feel a strong sense of optimism as we surge into a new year, particularly with all the cleaning and clearing out we did over the festive season.  We de-cluttered, re-purposed and binned like we were possessed (in the best possible way of course) but I feel it really strongly this year, there is something about 2015 … it is going to be a game changer of a year … can you feel it?

So I truly do believe that Opportunities are going to be abundant and abounding this year – that one really excites me (course, it doesn’t take much, now does it).

Writing is one of the places where my soul frolics … and I am looking forward to more writing, exciting opportunities and great things in that space!

Now Luminescence roared in at the ninth hour (literally this weekend).  This particular use of the word Luminescence is about me living in my authentic light.  Not emitting the glare of trying to fit in and taking on the persona of the situation but being contented and courageous in what I bring, what I contribute and what I add to the table … holding that space with grace and wholeness.  I’m extraordinarily excited about this word now.

I truly believe in this 3-word process … it sets the tone.  And many revisit and remind both themselves and I, throughout the year, that they are on-track and are actively working those 3 empowering words for the year.  Those moments make my soul rejoice!  And the feedback this year has been no less impressive! 

One set of words blew my mind, from a 14-year old, her 3 words were Patience, Perseverance and Confidence.  When she told me, it almost knocked me off my feet.  If only I had practiced this at 14 … just WOW!

Another’s were Happiness, Love & Success.  Another’s Home, Travel & Learn.  I love it!

After some time thinking about … what will your 3 personal words be for 2015.  Write them down, put them on the fridge and go get them!

2015 I am coming for you … and it is going to be a blast!

Let’s do it!

Much Love Always!
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … These Days by Take That!

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Taking Stock!

(Posted in 2014)

Ok, so where were we … ah yes … the very last day of 2014 … now this was a year!  In the words of the great South African Poet … Yoh!  (Pronounced Yoh!)  So much change around us, and so many people clearing the decks in preparation for changes ahead, as we plunge into 2015.

I always love this week between Christmas and New Year (I started writing this blog 5 days ago) … our social family (I hesitate to say “commitments” because that sounds like a chore, but this time of year comes with its set of expectations … so commitment will suffice) have been fulfilled.  That crescendo of shopping has been ravaged, dinners have been cooked and consumed, bubbles have popped and belts have been un-notched (just a smidge) … there is a definite lull in both energy and events as we enjoy the end of the twinkling lights, as many steady themselves for New Year’s festivities. 

This week between feels like a natural time to sit, reflect, consider our triumphs and things we could have done differently, regroup, review, plan, re-address, decide, relent, release and plant the seed of intention for your 2015 … this glorious clean, fresh new year ahead!

As in other years Zenith sets you the challenge … selecting 3 ambitious words for yourself for 2015.  Do you remember your 3 words for 2014?  Mine were Writing Abundance Adventure and my HAT were they just that!  This year I saw the Abundance everywhere, whether it was traffic, or work, or birds, or flowers … I saw it and loved every second of it!  I smiled and said to myself – well you asked for abundance!  Writing  was a wonderful Adventure, in 2014 I e-published a short story with a fellow author … it was an amazing experience and we are learning every day.   

So let’s revisit the criteria for the Challenge … you need to select 3 whole glorious words!  Specific to what you want for you for 2015!
  • 3 words that are positive!
  • 3 words that speak to you and your intentions for 2015 – personal goal setting!
  • 3 words that encapsulate all your hopes, desires, needs and dreams for your 2015!
  • 3 distinct individual words like Travel, Abundance & Balance instead of Win Lotto Please!

Think about it, I’ll leave it with you for a couple of days (and you know I will ask you) … we will come back to it!  Share it with friends, it is an amazing party discussion point.  Ready, Steady, GO! 

Feel free to post your 3 words in the comments or on Facebook  I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

My 3 words for 2015 will following in the next post ... I'm still wrestling with them ... 

Much Love & Happy New Year All!
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … Thinking Out Loud this is my boy at the moment and I just love the words … Ed Sheeran

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

What a Gift!

Well here we are … December 2014!  In fact we are 16 days into December and as yet, I have not posted Zenith’s word for December and that is partly due to the word itself! 

December’s word for Zenith is Present!  Not the noun present, as in gift (although it works for December) but as the adjective form of the word … being PRESENT!

In early December 2013 our oldest partially shaved off her eyebrows, in an attempt to “fit in” with the kids at school and in remediation to something one of the kids meanly said to her … reverberating, unchallenged in her 13 year old mind.  But wait … it gets worse, Bad Mother of the Year Award 2013 goes to me, because for a whole 36 hours I did not even notice. 

I was completely consumed by getting to the end of my working week (and year), when I would be on leave, that everything else was, dare I say it (out loud), on the back-burner.  I even told my children (more than once), “let’s just get to the end of the week and then we will be fine and we can enjoy our holidays together”.  I shudder when I think about it now.

At the time I was crippled by guilt, that all I could do was cry … that frustrated, shameful cry that we hide from others.  Well-meaning friends talked me off the emotional ledge, reminding me that eyebrows grow back (I knew that), pointing out that it was year-end, I was exhausted, I needed my leave, that at the time I was in the midst of an altercation with a friend but all of those were kind excuses … because the event (Eyebrow-Gate 2013 [EBG 2013] as we affectionately refer to it now) haunted me for months … well into 2014.  Why was I so upset?  Because I did not notice.  36 whole hours passed and I wasn’t present … not even close.  So I resolved to use the learnings and make it different this year!  So picking this December’s word was a bit of a sacred slam dunk … and so far we are doing really well!  I can report that everyone’s eyebrows are indeed intact!

So what have I learned … lets share the learnings … the lessons from EBG 2013 were many and this December has indeed been very different.  I have actively slowed down to make sure that I am living in as many moments as possible and when I am not … I take a deep breath (or five) and force myself to do so.  Things can wait a moment longer, the universe will not wobble off its axis.  I have found meditation particularly helpful for me with this, and I am very pleased that I have increased this practice, this year.  Loving it!

EBG 2013 also taught me to listen to the quiet tremors and to close the loop with the child, so that they know that I have taken action.  Senior mentioned the comment to me and I down-played it (hoping to minimize its refraction in her mind) but I made the appointment with the beautician and in my pre-occupied, single-mindedness I didn’t close the loop with her, so she took things into her own hands.

I make sure that one of us (the parental units) is with the girls when the other can’t be due to commitments … BEING with them, not just being close to them.  Yesterday, said oldest and I had the most wonderful day, out shopping, not particularly spending a huge amount of money (although I think the Bank Manager might disagree) BEING together, seeing, laughing (oh so much laughter), touch and loving every second … being present.

There were other lessons;   not being so harsh on myself, releasing the negative emotions around the event and making sure that she knows, deep within, that she is perfect and beautiful … but those are for another blog.  

I keep smiling at the awareness of it all … that BEING PRESENT has become the PRESENT that we are giving each other.  And my word … but what a gift!  #BlessedAbundantly!

As we end-off this year, let’s be present for ourselves and for each other …

Love you all madly!  Let’s be PRESENT as we kiss 2014 farewell!  MAKE it COUNT!
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … Rather Be  by Clean Bandit ft. Jess Glynne … good to know … (interesting video J)