Ok, so I am very confused!?!?!?

Ok, so I am very confused!?!?!?
For the last 20 – 25 years there has been a revolution and millions of therapy man-hours of people getting in touch with their emotions, feelings and emotional baggage.  We have all been encouraged (particularly men), cajoled and forced to deal with our stuff … talk about it, think about it, dissect it, be aware of it – so that we are not doomed to repeat our “mistakes”.  Personally, I embraced this concept, truly believing that awareness was enlightenment about myself and the way I dealt with life’s bruises.  Personal evolution – right?
Then, while reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love a couple of years ago and a line that I sadly think ended up on the cutting room floor of the movie, suggested …
“that you should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because,
when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again.
You must practice staying strong, instead.”

Well, as much as I love thinking and talking … the Eat Pray Love concept really resonated with me … so I started trying to keep it all together and silent and buttoned up.   That didn’t last long … because John Mayer hit me over the head and gave me permission in Say what you need to say
“… You better know that in the end it is better to say too much
than never to say what you need to say.
Even if your hands are shakin’,
and your faith is broken,
Even as the eyes are closin’,
Do it with a heart wide open,
A wide heart,
Say what you need to say …”

So do we express ourselves or do we keep quiet????  Do we speak our hearts desires or do we let that moment evaporate forever, forever lost?   

Some personal experience lately had revealed that denial is becoming my new favourite state of mind.  I can’t “fall apart” if it isn’t happening?  Right?  But how is that dealing with it?  And how is that living?  Does that foster regret or does it foster sanity?  I know I am leaning in a particular direction (this week) … but I suppose only time and a new theory will tell …
What do you think?
Warm regards … Collette in Cape Town


Dorothy said...

Ok ... so working on the "cowboys don't cry" theory is this generations thing. And it sucks! When we were children we were told to "suck it up and deal with it". You need to deal with your own stuff. If you don't, no one else will (or can for that matter). As a result, I am an adult that is very reluctant to share worries, concerns, fears, etc. ... a worry shared is a worry halved ... isn't that the saying? It's not "sucking it up and dealing" with it ... it's just shoving it in the corner to lurk like the white elephant everyone's trying to ignore. It never gets resolved and it never gets dealt with. And it definitely preys on the sanity. So, what's the solution? How do we change decades of conditioning to accept we are not weak, broken down shells if we need someone to help us deal? What is the answer to this dilema?

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