The Weekend of the Fans

Day 1 - So, I don’t know about you but I just don’t do this heat!  I am literally not designed for this weather (being of Celtic stock), I start wilting when it gets to about 28°C.  I am designed for the snow and the driving rain and right this minute I am desperate for Autumn … but as it is the middle of January, that is not going to happen … so for Plan B!

Plan B+ would be air conditioning in every room, but not in this house … so time for Plan B- … root out and engage our fan on high 24/7.  When the hot weather started we pulled out our 3 year old fan and cranked it up on HIGH, ready to bask in its coolness ... when … not a whisper of wind was suggested by said fan.  We were perplexed, we had plugged it in, it was on, it was on HIGH, we cleaned it, we took it apart (twice), 2 (semi)grown-ups glared at it in absolute consternation … still nothing!  We have limped along for 2 or 3 weekends praying for payday (funny how it feels sooooooooooo long in January hey) making all sorts of resolutions about payday … only for us to be bestowed with an unusual flush of finance.  Enter my Knight in sweaty armour!  Husband decides right after our weekend food shopping and before his sport … NOW is the moment and he dashes off to get us a new fan.  [I do love that man!]  He comes back to the car heavy ladened with the sexiest of silver HIGH Velocity Fans, I’ve ever seen … I am instantly in love (again) first with the fan and then with clever Husband (in that order). 
The moment we got home the tool box appeared … a nut here, a screw there (do try to keep it clean) and my turbo HIGH Velocity fan gyrates into life … what happened next can only be described as this … the squall that comes from this fan on HIGH is second only to the South Easter in full tilt.  We could loan this fan to Audi if their aero-chamber breaks to wind test cars or better yet, we could loan it to NASA for zero gravity training.  It is fabulous! Finally I am cool, I look like the cutest basset with the gale flapping my ears … I’m in doggie heaven … until we try to sleep with our new fan on … we didn’t think that far, did we … because our high velocity fan sounds like a B52 is in your bedroom prepping for take-off … let’s just say sleep was difficult, but we were cool to endure the insomnia.

Day 2 - With both of us having less than zero sleep and desperately trying not to be grumpy with each other, Sunday dawned.  His heart was so willing, but his head checked out … never in a million years did either of us think that a high velocity fan would make so much noise (and they still have the audacity to print on the box “Low Noise” epic fail), but of course now that we have lived through this lesson – it is so obvious!  So after breakfast Husband announces he is going back to the store to purchase another fan, something more appropriate for the bedroom and within healthy sound levels.  What felt like 2 hours later, Husband returned home … brace yourself … brace yourself … with a sweet neat white upstanding fan which has its own remote … I KID YOU NOT!  Just what our house needs another remote.  I couldn’t help but giggle.
So what have I learned … 1. Don’t send Techno Husband to go buy ANYTHING, unless you are fully expecting a remote to accompany it.  2. Not all fans are created equal.  3. Sometimes bigger is NOT better.  And 4. 110% for effort love … 
Love you all madly …    
Warm regards 
Collette in Cape Town

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