Courage



As the Christmas rush started and my friends and I started 2012, I found this adorable novelty store which had these little glass pebbles with metallic symbols and they had a word attached (do you feel a trend?) some said Love, some said Faith, some said Peace, Joy, Courage and Safety … there were others, which elude me right now but when I saw them in the store they spoke to me, as standalone moments and words often do … I placed all of the little boxes in a Christmas hat and one by one my friends pulled a box out.  I loved the concept that the Universe, The Divine, God was giving each person their own individual message … this idea (of which I can not take the credit) really spoke to me … so I did the same thing with my husband, my girls and myself.
Kaitlin (our 6 year old) got Ying & Yang with the word Balance, she was deeply unimpressed at the time and sulked to get another pebble as I tried to explain the symbolism of it all and why taking another just wouldn’t be the same (Note to self – Collette, do try to remember that she is only 6!) … she was displeased!  Only the irony when I Googled Ying & Yang is that it says that one of its forms is the representation of the ancient Chinese understanding of how things work … Kaitlin started Grade 1 this year – I think that is a pretty direct correlation to “understanding how things work”.  Coincidence???
Sarah (our 11 year old) got Faith and both my husband and I pulled Courage in the form of an Acorn from the hat, I was completely convinced and intrigued … what would we both be needing Courage for in 2012?  The Universe provided …
Is it me, or has 2012 started at a galloping pace and I am struggling to keep up!  As I resolutely drag myself out of 4 rather unpleasant weeks, where I have had lots to ponder and many lessons to hone my humanity, I am struggling to leave the hurts and unkindness of these 4 weeks behind me.  But this I must do … because it is literally making me ill.  As I embark on yet another detox of yet another suffering organ, I’ve bought the supplements and the drops to consume 3 times a day, but then, while wallowing in my woeness, 2 people stepped into my life for the briefest of moments.  One was a homeless person, as I drove down the road (probably too fast), his clothes were dirty and disheveled with wiry dreads but what hit me was that he was having an intense conversation with the side walk (literally) and he wasn’t winning … and in an instant I had turned the corner and he was gone but the image of him losing his battle with tenuously holding onto his sanity jolted me out of my wallow.  And then today at Pick ‘n Pay there was this beautiful soul who had been born a boy but wanted so desperately to be accepted as a woman.  I was miserable of spirit, not making eye contact and I had shut the world out around me by putting my earphones in and blaring my music at its fullest volume (God protect my ear drums) … but realizing I would have to speak to ask for salami for my girls, I pulled one earphone out and looked up at this very tall thin person who blew me away with the most beautiful smile I think I have ever seen … not physically but spiritually … and silently she was beseeching me in a very personal exchange just between her and I.  She hit me with such beauty and honesty I just wanted to break down right there in PNP (nutter on isle 5!!) but I mustered up from the recesses of my sadness the most loving smile I could and thanked her for a wonderful service … I wanted to stay and talk with her for hours but that was not in our plan … just the briefest of moments would be this exchange and while driving home, a gentle thought drifted into my mind … we can detox our bodies and every individual organ as many times as we want but how do we detox our minds and our souls, from all those hurtful unkind actions and conversations – even those that haven’t been said.  How do we do that?  How do I do that?
So what am I learning … just the other day, my “day job” manager and I were just talking about this … But I am reminded how tenuously so many of us are holding onto reality, by the very edge of our acrylic fingernails!  I’m reminded of that quote that says “be kinder than what you need to, because you do not know the burdens other people carry”so true  So as we face this new week … lets step outside of our selfish self-absorbed selves and lets work at making things a little better for someone else … “the little things are the big things” …
Love you all madly …    
Warm regards 
Collette in Cape Town
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