If you don’t want to talk about SEX … look away!

Ha!  Made you look, made you look!  How is THAT for a title!!??  But isn’t it so true hey … SEX SELLS and sex makes you look.  The secret illicit titillation of something so wickedly wonderful … in most cases done in secret, in the dark, under the covers and yet so very natural. 
So I attended a sex toy party this weekend and I knew - in advance -that this blog was brewing … so let me set the scene …
I got the invitation about a month ago and thought to myself, Hell YES!!!  Set some cash aside (as the gadgetry tends to be quite pricey) and book the babysitter [please no-one tell my mother where I actually was this Saturday afternoon]!  I’ve been to one before, and it was great fun and a good giggle – all the merchandise aside …
When I looked around the room there were about 12 very “normal” looking women in a wonderful array of shapes, sizes and ages, and if I had to be pressed around a description, I would almost say quite a conservative looking room … but I came to that conclusion before one of the women loudly announced that she couldn’t buy that toy because her husband was !!HUGE!!, so she didn’t think it would work … you go girlfriend!  Lucky girl!  And I should tell you that she was one of the more mature (read older) women in the room, I was well proud of her considering 70% of the room was much younger …
Soon enough the getting to know you games started and we all divulged what we would really do and say to Brad Pitt on a desert island in the tropical heat to great giggles and regalia.  The demo started with the tame lotions and potions around smelling and tasting good.  Then all the lube jokes and products came out – it’s amazing what they can put in a little pink bottle now-a-days!  The Sales Lady promised me that if I purchased one specific product, that it would do everything for me … I asked if that included the dishes, as mine where piling up like Vesuvius in my kitchen.  Sadly she said no, but then suggested another product that if I purchased that, I would have my devotee eating out of the palm of my hand and then dishes wouldn’t be required … I considered that!  So we moved on from lube to a few books on sexual positions (some of which needed a block & tackle) I kid you not, a strap on oooo sorry, full on mechanics workshop might be required …. Oooo overhauls, power tools, sweaty half naked bodies … OH MY side-tracked … then on to the sex games and fluffy bondage equipment, together with the handy, fold-away in a small case – the thing that one day you will HAVE to imaginatively explain away to your 9 (or worse yet) 15 year old – The Door Hanging Sex Swing (oh I can just see that conversation now!) I just HAVE to have one!  And then the real artillery came out, the pinnacle, you might say the climax … the hardware!  Every imaginable (and even more you can’t - some of which I had to go home and Google) intimate self-pleasuring toys.  They were mind bending and that was just looking and paying for them … so imagine what might happen if they were put to their actual use???  The mind boggles …
Soon enough the sniffing & licking demo ended and the moment of reckoning came … as we placed our individual orders in a secluded secret room with the Sales Lady.  Fabulously Clandestine!  When I thought about it, it’s a good idea really, probably originally thought up to limit the embarrassment factor … I mean really, you don’t want to be shouting out across the room that you want 4 tubes of strawberry exotic lubricant and 3 tubes of chocolate cheesecake erotic arousal cream, do you?  It’s bad enough having a price check on BREAST PADS on check-out 9 yelled across the store.  Personally however, I think the secret interlude is so that only you, the Sales Lady and God knows how much you have spent! 
So what have I learned … Recently I read a WONDERFUL BOOK that I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND to ALL Women, married and single alike.  It was Shameless - How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure, And Somehow Got Home In Time To Cook Dinner by Pamela Madsen.  It’s about a woman’s personal journey to find her sacred sexuality without stepping out of the promises of her marriage.  It was phenomenal!!!!  And it opened up a chocolate box of suggestions to me.  Personally, I think she flirted with the boundaries of her marriage and I take my hat off to her husband who is spectacularly progressive but the book SPOKE TO ME!  Get it, read it, LOVE IT!  Very empowering!
So, I am considering hosting my very own Sex Toy Party … who is joining me??
Love you all madly …    
Warm regards 
Collette in Cape Town
 


Music to have you tapping your feet … Click Let's Talk About Sex! By Salt N Pepa  (1991)

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5 comments:

Sonjia said...

Let me know when it is & I am there with bells on!!!

Sonjia said...

Excellent story, wish I was there!!!

Deirdre said...

oohhh I need to book that lady. I know MANY ladies who can benefit from it. ;)

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(C) All content, unless otherwise stated, on the Zenith Thinking Blog is the Intellectual Property of ZenithThinking.