Our Hearts are Broken …

I didn’t want this.  I didn’t want my next post to be about something that has ripped open our hearts so savagely that forever we are changed … but alas yesterday’s events have moulded a new tomorrow …
Recently I started attending a specific forum.  At the last gathering, the speaker suggested that the Internet, Social Media, Facebook and Twitter where shifting the balance of information negatively.  Whether you believe this to be true or not, I had an immediate visceral reaction to his statement.  I sat up straight, shifted in my chair and with my mouth clamped shut, the words NOOoooooooooOOOO came screaming out of my head (I’m sure the people around me heard) … surely, like all things it is about intension, and what you put in - is what you get out?  If we put in more good than bad, surely that balance can be swung to the side of good?  Or am I just being naïve?
Well, about 2 months ago I joined a different (wonderful) Bloggers Forum - Bloppy Bloggers (don’t ask, odd name, fabulous people) - on Facebook!  Yesterday, when I lifted my self-absorbed, focused getting-it-all-done-before-going-off-on-leave head, I saw my first shocking post on Facebook about the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary and I am so so grateful for this medium, even if at that moment the news was harrowing.  Not again, not again I cried and then immediately realized that as I plan my Christmas with our 2 girls, 28 sets of parents would never be the same again … ever!  I was consumed by great sadness.  I wanted to roll up into the foetal position and hum and rock the bad news away.
I can’t write about this, it’s too close!  Our girls are mostly within the ages of the children that were savagely gunned down.  We send our children to school expecting to see them at the end of the day with the worst crisis being what the “Mean Girls” said or something the clumsy boy did to them who secretly hides a crush … not this!  But for me Facebook did a wonderful thing, it connected me with mothers, people, parents, human-beings across the world and I could, even though horrific, for just a moment share in unified prayer with all the other folks that were immediately praying and lifting those families is silent tearful prayers.
I was sadly reminded of a similar incident years ago that started something I do now … regularly … there was a school in Russia, the Beslan School Siege or Beslan Massacre in September 2004, it lasted for three days and it involved the capture of over 1,100 people as hostages (including 777 children) ending with the death of over 380 people, 186 of those were children too. 
It’s not about numbers or the extent of the atrocity, 1 person gone is 1 too many … but during those 3 days I started lighting a candle (it must be the Catholic in me) in my (then) kitchen window that faced onto the street.  For 3 days I listened to the news and every evening I would light my little candle all the way down in Cape Town South Africa, for those parents and people in Russia existing through that hell.  Now … it is something I do often … when we lived through 9/11, when we had a taxi load of children killed on their way to school, when I have had a friend in hospital, after Tsunami’s across the world, when we have floods in the Eastern Cape or when I know someone is crossing over … I light my candle in my kitchen window and hold them in my thoughts and prayers.  It’s really all I can do …
So what have I learned … I’ve learned I just don’t understand these happenings … no matter whatever the cause, whatever the struggle, whatever the reason, whatever the latest label is for the mental illness … I just don’t understand!
I’m reminded that as much as we do indeed need our children to brush their teeth and get in the frikken car this very minute or we will be late and then I will have fall out on the other side because we never get to any event on time … it actually really doesn’t matter!
I’ve learned it is important to cuddle them closer, tell them you love them AGAIN (even if your 12 year old is trying to squirm loose)!
But as President Obama said this morning fighting back his own tears … Our Hearts Are Broken and for this reason, I will light my little candle in my kitchen window and I will hold those 28 dead in my prayers and I will pray that somehow, one day those families and people affected by yesterday will somehow, find a way …            

Love you all madly …    
Warm regards …             
Collette in Cape Town   


Song of the Post …
Closer  by Barbara Streisand

3 comments:

Ron94611 said...

I will always love you, Collette, and I love this particular blog, not for the subject, clearly, but for your take.
The horror of this tragedy is something that cannot be adequately described in mere human words. The fact that it happens all too often in this country can. It is directly related to the ridiculous interpretation of an amendment to our Constitution (the 2nd) that allows everyone to have any number of guns, automatic and semi, and any amount of ammunition. Each state has its own regulations, some silly and some making an attempt at control of these instruments that exist only to kill.

Each time this happens (15 times this year already here), the gun nuts and their lobby scream "It's not time to discuss control. We need to mourn. Don't politize this..." That's already started. What, I would like to know, is the tipping point event or body count that will finally make us address this seriously in this country.

Anyway, I am glad that I will never join the world view of the gun nuts and I will never own any form of a gun. I will not live in fear or need a replacement for my male member (sorry, but that's how it is...) to face life.

Guns are not going away in the country, that ship has sailed. But, national regulations is the key that match, at minimum, the type of regulations we have to drive our automobiles.

In the meantime, keep your stock of candles... :-(

Zenith Thinking said...

So true Ron ... Now is the time to mourn!

Thanx for your comment & support.

Lovies
Collette in Cape Town!

Dorothy said...

I don't think there is much more too say. It is such a horrific, senseless act that has left too many people broken. My heart aches for those parents who will never again hear the echo of their child's laughter through the house, never get to hug and cuddle them or simply tell them they love them. May God hold them in His embrace and bring them a sense of comfort as they face the future.

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