Born on the 4th July ...

Last week’s Finish The Sentence Friday’s (FTSF) leading sentence was … What was your best 4th July ever!  I smiled and thought to myself, well that is me off the hook for this week (not being an American and all) … mmmm not so much.  Slowly I caved to the nagging realization that I do indeed have two 4th of July that I have to declare as my best ever. 

Firstly, my father was born on the 4th July.

Some of you know that my relationship with my father has been a tested and vacant relationship for most of my life, but whatever that relationship looks like, the simple truth of the matter is that, without him … I wouldn’t be here.  So as Iyanla Vanzant says “In the midst of everything … be thankful!”  So the 4th July of 1938 was quite a key Independence Day for me … don’t you think?

Then there would be this 4th July 2013 and the reason I say that is because, my father is half of a twin and his twin is no longer with us in the fleshly kind of a way.  In all of my 40 years, I sadly only spent 1 year of my life with him and we got on like a house on fire!  Gone now, but I mourn the relationship we shaped in that one short year.  So by extension, and in the spirit of gratitude, I am thankful that we are all here to experience this 4th July

Our relationships are not perfect, in fact they are very flawed, and ill-equipped they have been very misunderstood, but today we are here and we are not worm food – so let’s make it count!

So what did I learn … I’ve come to realize that as fragmented as my relationship is my father, it has been a great teacher.  And with the skills he has, he tries his best.  As my mother says, in his own way he loves us dearly.  And now as an adult (well almost), I know this to be true.  There are days he tries harder, but then don’t we all.  Our relationships with our parents are potentially our greatest lessons.

More and more I am being reminded to slow down and live in the now … today!  Let’s take a moment to appreciate what we have.  Cuddle those people we love just a little closer, tell them, make them feel it.  Because, like another time in my life when I flirted a little too closely with a near death experience … there is no rule that says we are here tomorrow …

Love you all madly!
Warm regards …             
Collette in Cape Town


Song of the Post … Hurt by Christina Aguilera

2 comments:

Nourishing Nibbles said...

So true C. And not just in case we are not here tomorrow, but because we ARE here today... Send extra love to those you love. And then send love to those you dont, too. xxx

Kathy dV said...

It's always so sad to hear when people didn't have the best of relationships with their dad, as there is always a yearning for their love and acceptance...I know.
Lovely blog as always - written by a lovely, brilliant and very funny lady. :)

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