The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

I’ve been writing this blog for about 6 months, in various forms it has shown its face and nagged relentlessly reminding me to post (I literally started it twice and it has three different titles), … then about a month ago I embarked on a training course at work that required that I take a 360 feedback process.  I love these!  Any opportunity I get to figure out myself and the people around me – I love them!  As you may know, on a 360 you select people from across your business spectrum:  your Supervisor, colleagues, peers, stakeholders, customers, direct reports and a program provides them with a confidential platform to give you some really good honest feedback … cleaning and throwing open Johari's Enlightening Window!  I love them (did I say that already)but they can be scary places to go, if you get feedback you are not expecting.

I once worked with a colleague who used to say that “All feedback was a gift!  Good & Bad!”  My knee-jerk reaction to that little pearl was “what rubbish”.  Then, the more I worked with him and the more I watched him put that philosophy into practise, I started to get it!

Are we able to strip all the crap away from who is saying it, the way they are saying it, audience, no audience, my mood, their mood, the context and can we hear what is being said with wisdom that hears a growth opportunity instead of … take it from whence it comes?  Or immediately discrediting the feedback because you deem the source as in-credible.  Can we?               

Truth is a funny old thing.  By who’s perspective?  Are there absolute truths for everyone?  Truth is concerningly subjective.  Chocolate is wonderful and Celine Dion is one of the best singers on the planet.  Those are truths for me!  However, I know many people who loath chocolate and friends of mine would rather stick a fork in their eye than endure a confined space with me and Celine.

But are there times when we hear something and it pulls at something deep at our core and we know it to be true?  Or do we swot potential truths away because we aren’t ready to hear them or we don’t trust the source.

Sure enough I need to know that the messenger has an authentic core.  But how many times do we have some truths delivered to us by a source we weren’t ready for.  Do we push it away and disregard it?  Or do we take a moment to consider if there is resonance there?

Personally, I really need those few bold souls in my life that hold a mirror up to me and say “I love you Collette, but you are wrong” or that maybe there is another perspective that I hadn’t thought about.

So what have I learned … I’m learning that all feedback is indeed a gift … even if we do not enjoy the message or the messenger?  It’s up to us to interpret the message, stripped bare to its essence.  Can I learn from it?  Can I improve myself?  If yes, great message!  If it REALLY does not apply to you and it is not the messenger having a verbal let me teach you a lesson because I can, then I fall back on my other favourite saying … “there is always an idiot in the room”

Love you all madly!
Warm regards …             
Collette in Cape Town

Song of the Post … Brave! by Sara Bareilles  (Love love love this one … BE BRAVE!)


eBilling News said...

Great post, Collette, thank you for sharing.

Not sure I agree that "all feedback is indeed a gift," since it doesn't take into account the level of resonance of the person giving the feedback in relation to the receiver.

For example, should I graciously accept feedback about my health from someone who is overweight? Should I seriously consider relationship advice from someone who abuses their spouse?

Everyone has an opinion no matter their station in life, and so there is no such thing as 'objectivity' - the discussion that prompted me to comment on your post in the first place.

I believe it's our duty to evaluate feedback by comparing frequencies of the giver and the receiver.

Hopefully this comment wasn't too woo-woo ;)

Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly said...

I totally agree, Collette! Constant filtered comments do not help us to grow, or get a honest picture about ourselves. I have my annual performance review next week ;-)

Zenith Thinking said...

Thank you Michael and Stephanie for your comments.

Absolutely Stephanie! And all of the best with your performance review. I know you will be awesome!

Warm regards

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