Find Your Tribe and LOVE them HARD!

When you have been away, walked away, not gone back, removed yourself, for whatever reason, it is hard to go back.  You wait to be asked, invited, but what if the invite never comes?  It is hard to be in the presence of the moment that hurt you and live in that moment … silently.  What if the acknowledgement never comes?  What if you never hear the words?  What do you do then?  It can be hard.  And it takes courage to go there again, to go back to not hear the acknowledgement, to sit in the reality of it all.

Sometimes you don’t know what to say?  You don’t know how to say you are sorry for the event, for the silence.  I mean sometimes what can you say, but then the silence lingers longer and then like an angry, armadillo scrunched up in a tight ball … it gets even harder and longer and even more silent.

Then sometimes we really believe that we were right and that they were wrong (that pesky ego) and that they need to understand how much that hurt … but in reality we only separate ourselves, we want them to feel our pain, make them squirm, make them feel it – again we are scrunched up into an armadillo ball.  Hard and angry and then what is that doing to our bodies and our minds?  

I have been to the silence and waited and waited … I have been silent here, not having anything particularly mind-blowing to say, to offer, to learn and it was hard coming back today.  Hard seeing that six long months have passed since I have written here.  Not without friends lovingly nudging me.  When am I going to see more writing?  When indeed, I wondered?  I had some ideas but nothing impressed itself to my mind enough to stay and then as time dragged on, I questioned the content.  THEN something happens, there is a softening, an unfolding, a realization and something cracks open and the light streams out and then you remember – oh yes, I have missed this.  I have missed that feeling in your presence.  I have missed being here …

Again I am reminded of that quote by Rumi:            

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.”

So what have I learned and what am I saying …

Go have that conversation sooner rather than later.  Go back quicker, because the longer you wait, the harder it gets.  I am not saying be the doormat (NEVER EVER!), but I am suggesting going into that uncomfortable space of explaining how much that hurt, how hard it was, even if you were wrong.

And then Find Your Tribe and LOVE them HARD, because we were not designed to be isolated, alone, in the silence.  We were designed to find our peeps and LOVE THEM HARD!

SO Much Love Always!
Collette in Cape Town

Songs of the Post RISE by Katy Perry


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